I, SILVERDENE EMBLEM O'NEILL (familiarly
known to my family, friends, and acquaintances as Blemie), because the
burden of my years and infirmities is heavy upon me, and I realize the
end of my life is near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the
mind of my Master. He will not know it is there until after I am dead.
Then, remembering me in his loneliness, he will suddenly know of this
testament, and I ask him then to inscribe it as a memorial to me.
I have little in the way of material
things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men. They do not set great store
upon things. They do not waste their days hoarding property. They do not
ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and
to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value I have to
bequeath except my love and my faith. These I leave to all those who
have loved me, to my Master and Mistress, who I know will mourn me most,
to Freeman who has been so good to me, to Cyn and Roy and Willie and
Naomi and -- But if I should list all those who have loved me, it would
force my Master to write a book. Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when
I am so near death, which returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I
have always been an extremely lovable dog.
I ask my Master and Mistress to remember
me always, but not to grieve for me too long. In my life I have tried to
be a comfort to them in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in
their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I
should cause them pain. Let them remember that while no dog has ever had
a happier life (and this I owe to their love and care for me), now that
I have grown blind and deaf and lame, and even my sense of smell fails
me so that a rabbit could be right under my nose and I might not know,
my pride has sunk to a sick, bewildered humiliation. I feel life is
taunting me with having over-lingered my welcome. It is time I said
good-bye, before I become too sick a burden on myself and on those who
love me. It will be sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die. Dogs
do not fear death as men do. We accept it as part of life, not as
something alien and terrible which destroys life. What may come after
death, who knows? I would like to believe with those
of my fellow Dalmatians who are devout Mohammedans, that there is a Paradise where
one is always young and full-bladdered; where all the day one dillies
and dallies with an amorous multitude of houris,
beautifully spotted; where jack rabbits that run fast but not too fast
(like the houris) are as the sands of the desert; where each blissful
hour is mealtime; where in long evenings there are a million fireplaces
with logs forever burning, and one curls oneself up and blinks into the
flames and nods and dreams, remembering the old brave days on earth, and
the love of one's Master and Mistress.
I am afraid this is too much for even
such a dog as I am to expect. But peace, at least, is certain. Peace and
long rest for weary old heart and head and limbs, and eternal sleep in
the earth I have loved so well. Perhaps, after all, this is best.
One last request I earnestly make. I
have heard my Mistress say, "When Blemie dies we must never have
another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one."
Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor
tribute to my memory never to have a dog again. What I would like to
feel is that, having once had me in the family, now she cannot live
without a dog! I have never had a narrow jealous spirit. I have always
held that most dogs are good (and one cat, the black one I have
permitted to share the living room rug during the evenings, whose
affection I have tolerated in a kindly spirit, and in rare sentimental
moods, even reciprocated a trifle). Some dogs, of course, are better
than others. Dalmatians, naturally, as everyone knows, are best. So I
suggest a Dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as
well mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My
Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible. But he will do his
best, I am sure, and even his inevitable defects will help by comparison
to keep my memory green. To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my
overcoat and raincoat, made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris. He can
never wear them with the distinction I did, walking around the Place
Vendôme, or later along Park Avenue, all eyes fixed on me in admiration;
but again I am sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche
provincial dog. Here on the ranch, he may prove himself quite worthy of
comparison, in some respects. He will, I presume, come closer to jack
rabbits than I have been able to in recent years.
And for all his faults, I hereby wish
him the happiness I know will be his in my old home.
One last word of farewell, Dear Master
and Mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret
but also with happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long
happy life with you: "Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved." No
matter how deep my
sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my
spirit from wagging a grateful tail.
Tao House, December 17th,
1940 |